Fours years seems like a long time to hold onto hard feelings, right? Well, in this case, we completely understand. It has been four years since Zayn Malik left One Direction, and fellow bandmate Louis Tomlinson still is not completely ready to forgive and forget.

Back in 2015, 1Der’s world was literally flipped upside down when Zayn left the band because of “the level of scrutiny he gets put under.” But, as we all know, there has been endless drama ever since then. There was that one time Zayn said he didn’t buy his former bandmates’ Made in the A.M. album. Yeah, ouch.

In a recent interview, Louis said he’s still not over how Zayn handled the whole situation. Metro UK asked Louis if he could ever forgive Zayn and welcome him back into the band. He said, “I just don’t think I am mature enough, even in my own head, to give that a real answer.” He then added, “At the moment, I am still pretty mad about the whole thing. I don’t think he [Malik] handled it very well. But never say never. Who knows? He chatted a lot of [things] in the early days. I thought One Direction were pretty good.”

After Louis’ mom passed away in 2016, her dying wish, he shared, was that he would “get back in contact with Zayn” because life is too short. At the time, Louis said he and Zayn were on good terms and that he “can’t stand to hold a grudge with anyone.” But then Zayn didn’t show up to Louis’ first performance after his mom died and things took a downhill turn again.

“I had a couple of calls with him after I lost my mum, and all the boys had agreed to come to that performance, and he didn’t show, so that really bugged me…It was just seeing everyone there—Harry, Niall, and Liam—that was what I needed that night, that support. So on the other end of the spectrum, it kind of really showed. So, eh, I hope he’s alright, but…”

If it helps at all, Zayn did tweet his support at Louis. But it seems that the damage was already done.